Mothering versus Homemaking – These two are never at odds even though sometimes we think they are. Most mothers of little ones have this problem while some seem to have it all together. I was not one of those together people. When my two oldest were small I had a hard time. They were two years apart. I was taking care of the baby and the oldest was tearing up the house. Not only were there two little ones but laundry, meals, grocery shopping etc. Taking care of me was hardly on the list of to dos.
This lasts only a short time in the big scheme of things. Your children are the most important thing. You are taking this time to nurture, love and care for them the way they need. Put them first; 18 years seems like a long time but it really isn’t.
Cleanliness is not as important as we make it. Children who do not sweat and get dirty don’t need a bath every day. Every other day at most or twice a week is sufficient. Faces, hands and bottoms need to be cleaned regularly though. My daughter had a skin issue once and the doctor said little kids don’t get dirty and it is gentler on the skin to bathe less. Likewise, adults don’t need a bath as often as every day. A bath on days when you go out is probably sufficient. Otherwise just washing off is a good practice. Of course a big soaking tub is the right size for a mother and a couple of little ones. A family bath makes use of time, water and your kid’s attention. They can play in the bath while you get clean too.
What about little boys taking a bath with their mothers? I say don’t worry with it until they start to notice that you are different. My children were breast fed until age two. When my oldest boy was 4-6 I was breastfeeding the youngest. It is a natural thing and should not bring shame. I do believe in modesty but sometimes in a family modesty doesn’t always happen. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, they won’t either.
Do as much as you can WITH your children. It will help and teach them to do for themselves. Little ones can and like to help. Teach them the right way and let them help. They can be proud of their accomplishments and you can too.
I always laid down for a nap with them too. Of course I was exhausted by nap time. Most times I only slept about 30 minutes but I took the same two hours they did when I needed it. Make sure you are rested. This is probably the most important thing you can do for yourself. You can’t appropriately care for and keep an eye on them when you can’t keep your eyes or mind focused. You will get more done in the 1 ½ hours left of their nap if you take one too than if you went without. Your energy and enthusiasm will be better too.
What about cooking dinner? Get your children involved. Even a small child can use a butter knife or kid safe knife to slice soft foods. Their work will not be to your exact standards so get over it and move on. It is more important for them to practice life skills than for the mushrooms to be thinly sliced. You can give a couple extra chops when the children are not looking. Kids will also be more apt to eat it if they helped with the preparation. They can always tell daddy how they helped make dinner today. Babies can be placed in their high chairs with a snack or in a play area in view. They will always prefer to be in the same area as you so make space for them. If they have a play kitchen, put it in the real kitchen so they can work as you do. Give them some real foods they can use and eat.
A night or weekend with grandma can be a great relief. If you have the money, hire someone to clean the bathroom, sweep, mop and vacuum the floors. Ask another mom with older children for help. The older one can play with the younger while you and the other mom clean or just talk.
I advocate spending your days talking to, playing with, hugging, kissing and holding your children. The time will come when you want to and can’t. Care for them as if it is your life’s work because it is. Your life will continue through them. They are your blessings receive them as such and quit stressing about the house. Making a home where your children are loved and cared for is homemaking. 😉
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